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No one knows exactly how the race turns out, except that Frazz is happy because he raced like his players played. You told the child something that a lot of people believe in, but that you personally don't. The line about Joe Di Maggio means there are no genuine heroes anymore, I guess, though I never entirely got why he ended the song there. It is one I hadn't considered,because I know the derivation of this question. _______________________ Tucson, Ariz.: Thank you Gene and Chatwoman for bringing back the poll!The actual placing isn't really necessary information, though the readers are welcome to supply that as they see fit. It is the precise storyline of Edward Albee's "The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia? To spend your own money on it even well it just shows your love for this chat. Tom Lovejoy left his police dog in a car for 13 hours and the dog died.In our cars, we listened only to the worst kinds of music: pre-Beatles pop and current Top 40. Don’t say it.” Daniel hung his head, “ — to bring back produce from the farmers’ market.” Last we heard, Daniel got a job. A woman dropped her wallet in the street, and one of us chased her down to give it back. “You’re a good person.” “No,” our guy insisted, deeply rattled. “You are.” After that, we disbanded; we were spooked. See first: our updated Funny Women Submission Guidelines. This we did at the highest volume, until no one wanted to ride with us. To read other Funny Women pieces and interviews, see the archives. Her previous piece for Funny Women, "Modern Vice", will be published in a humor anthology from Oxford University Press. Important, secret note to readers: The management of The Washington Post apparently does not know this chat exists, or it would have been shut down long ago. And Death" and co-author of "I'm with Stupid," with feminist scholar Gina Barreca. So Chatwoman and I have decided to take matters into our own hands. The whole event raises intriguing moral and ethical issues, not unlike those in TODAY'S POLL. Why did I care more about my relationship with the truth than with the woman I loved? _______________________ Silver Spring, Md.: You wrote: I think you honored your wife by speaking the truth to her.

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Molly actually spayed and neutered several animals, her first surgeries. I have not denigrated cats exactly, but I have not celebrated their lives in song and verse, either. Part of me wanted to continue lying to myself and pretending there's a god who intervenes in the world, but for some reason intellectual honesty was more important to me than even the ideas of eternal life and one day being reunited with my late wife. Personally, I have run into some conflict between my professional duty and my general belief that people should be free to do whatever they may choose, so long as it does not do unnecessary harm to another. _______________________ Elkridge, Md.: Hi Gene, being Indian, I take great offense at your outright dislike of all foods Indian. I have never met a person that didn't like Indian food. If you lived in India, and there was nothing but Indian food to eat, would you starve yourself? Not respecting her request, not respecting her change of heart at her death, is incredibly, incredibly selfish. Why on earth would you have a hard time living with yourself?

Under interests, we listed “fields of wheat” and “faxing.” One of us, in an inspired move, even made her profile picture an illustration of a blue cube. On her profile, she posted a picture of herself in a tank top doing a pouty face. “I genuinely want to find someone.” We said, “But that tank top! Our clergymen said, “These aren’t sins, these are just bad manners.” They said, “I’m not even sure I…a blue cube?

Gene Weingarten's humor column, Below the Beltway, appears every Sunday in The Washington Post magazine. _______________________ Gene Weingarten: Good afternoon. I need to report about a seismic event that has occurred within my psyche. They canceled the Kiddie League playoffs because it RAINED. Either that's some basic training, where they actually bayonet guys in the background for verisimilitude, or these are the dumbest soldiers on Earth. ---- The Comic Pick of the Week is a paired entry, yesterday and today's Brewster Rockit, which is beginning to appeal to me.

Escher What-Is-Wrong-With-This-Picture award goes to yesterday's Brevity. I have no right answers here: In fact, I have more questions than most of you seem to.

_______________________ Arlington, Va.: You and Chatwoman ... _______________________ Gene Weingarten: This is a major reversal. When you get back inside, your body is racked by a paroxysm of shivers and shudders that are overwhelming. You could not, for example, drive a car in this state. To the amusement of my family, I call them, imprecisely, the "yellow spices." These are turmeric, cilantro (coriander), saffron, cumin and caraway seed. But no -- it's far, far better than that -- you are now in love with a cat. _______________________ Darwinian quee, RY: Is it possible that awareness of population density triggers the creation of homosexual children? _______________________ Yankee fan: The Scooter's dead. Gene Weingarten: Because this doesn't sit well with me: That the last thing I told a dying child was a lie.

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